1. “What ought one to say then as each hardship comes? I was practicing for this. I was training for this.” – Epictetus
On Grit:
There’s a huge difference between begrudgingly dealing with hardship versus facing it head on. Expect that hard times will come, and then you won’t be upset when they inevitably arise.
I understand this is much easier said than done, because hardship seems to make itself known at the most inopportune times. I think that’s part of the secret though: come to terms with the fact that hardship is undesirable, but UNAVOIDABLE; once you accept that you’ll have to face it, you’ll be in a better mindset to handle it.
Don’t live in the delusion where you expect everything to go perfectly all the time. Without maybe realizing it, you set yourself up for failure/disappointment when you constantly expect life to be smooth, and then stress yourself when it’s not.
We’re well aware that life isn’t always ideal, so why do hard times still surprise us? I’ve found the idea most helpful to “hope for the best, but expect the worst”. Of course I want the best plan to come to fruition, but I also want to be prepared if things don’t stick to the script I’ve laid out in my head.
Be adaptable and be a problem solver. If you can learn to be an effective problem solver, then you can handle pretty much any situation life decides to throw at you.
2. “Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs?” – Marcus Aurelius
On Acceptance & Going With The Flow:
Constantly wishing things were different in your life is a recipe for dissatisfaction/unhappiness. You can wish things were different all you want, but that still doesn’t change where you’re at right now.
There’s a lot of things in our lives that we don’t have direct control over, but never being content with the cards you’re dealt is such a fast way to build resentment for your life. Adopt the perspective that the universe (or whatever you’d like to call it) gives you everything you’re needing; it may not be what you’re wanting, but it may have some positive implications you’re unaware of yet.
Life may throw you circumstances that extremely test you mentally, but you grow from it. Don’t waste the mental energy on wishing things had been different in your life. Face your situation for what it is and believe that you’ve been given the proper tools to live a productive life.
3. “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it” – Confucius
On Perspective:
Not trying to sound philosophical, but it’s hard to justify most behaviors as inherently bad or good. Of course there’s extreme cases that most would agree are objectively right or wrong, but it’s still a matter of opinion. This means that it’s up to you how you want to frame others’ behaviors.
You don’t have to let other people’s actions affect you mentally; it’s your BELIEF that they wronged you, and your attachment to your feelings associated with that belief.
If you fester on all the little things that bother you, then that’s the headspace you’ll remain in. It doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be mad or upset if someone wrongs you, but don’t let yourself hyperfixate on it.
In short, you choose whether or not you hold onto resentment. Realize that being mad at someone for something they did to you doesn’t solve the problem; instead, do what you have to do to fix the issue (most of the time it means simply moving on).
Again, learn to be a problem solver.